


The Super-Dick of Freedom

by raeganrolland



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Steve has a big dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-12
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-03 02:43:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10233974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raeganrolland/pseuds/raeganrolland
Summary: Short story of a slight misunderstanding, underwear that doesn't fit, and the gosh darn Super-Dick.





	

They were ten minutes away from entering abandoned HYDRA airspace when Natasha noticed it first. “Hey, Steve? You okay?”

 

Steve looked up from adjusting his combat pants for the hundredth time that hour, “Huh?”

 

Natasha furrowed her eyebrows, “I asked if you were okay… You seem a little distracted.” She said, gesturing to his hand that was still fiddling with the front of his pants. Steve blushed a deep red and quickly removed his hand, “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” 

 

He quickly turned away from a quizzical Natasha before changing the subject, “Tony do you have those diagnostics I asked for?”

 

The rest of the team didn’t fail to notice the awkward exchange and,  _ of course _ , Tony was smirking at the Captain. Tony waggled his eyebrows, “Course I do, Cap. Got ‘em right here on my tablet…. you think can keep your hand outta your pants long enough to read them?” 

 

If it was possible, Steve flushed an even deeper shade of red. He quickly grabbed the StarkPad from Tony’s hands, and scanned his eyes over the tablet quickly. 

 

Steve set down the pad just as Clint prepared to land the Quinjet, “Okay!” He said, with a little too much enthusiasm, “Look alive everyone! This is it!” Steve made his way down the ramp of the Quinjet, trying his best to hide his waddle of uncomfort.

 

“Cap!” Clint called, “Are you sure you’re okay? You’re walking a little funny”

 

Steve whipped around and yelled to no one in particular, “YES! Yes! I am fine! I’m okay!” Steve ran a frustrated hand through his blonde hair. “And Tony? Tell Pepper I need to speak with her when we get back.”

 

Tony squinted his eyes in concern before answering with a suspicious, “Sure thing, Cap…” 

 

Steve smiled lightly and readied himself for a possible battle, “Ok good. Now let's go.”

 

***

 

Nobody failed to notice the moment they returned to the tower that Steve changed into incredibly loose and thin sweatpants, for it wasn’t ten minutes after they landed that Steve came into the shared dining room asking for Pepper.

 

“Is she available? Tony… Is Pepper available?” Steve asked with frustration.

  
  


Tony shrugged his shoulders noncommittally, “Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. But I don't know if I should interrupt whatever she may be doing unless I know the severity of the situation. I mean, she could be in a meeting and if you just need to learn how to make a phone call, I won’t go and bother. See what I mean?”

 

Steve slammed his hands on the dining room table, making the rest of the team jump. “God damn it Tony! Where the  _ hell _ is Pepper!” 

 

Tony raises his hands in surrender, “Damn, Rogers… She’s in the lab with Bruce.”

 

“Ok. Thank you.” Steve replied with a light and slightly embarrassed smile.

 

***

“You want me to order you underwear?” Pepper asked, confusion evident in her voice.

 

“Yeah… When I came out of the ice, SHIELD already had an entire wardrobe for me. But… But the underwear didn’t fit.” Steve was already as red as the stripes on his suit.

 

Pepper smiled the tiniest bit, “You do know you can go out on your own and buy underwear, right?” 

 

Steve couldn’t make eye contact with Pepper no matter how hard he tried, this was _so_ _fucking_ _embarrassing!_ “I know… I know I can go out or whatever, but every kind I bought still didn’t fit.” Pepper coughed a little into her fist, “Steve, you aren’t as small as you used to be… So that's why you try different sizes…. Have you tried the next size up?”

 

Steve’s head shot up, “Of course I have! I’m not a total moron!” Pepper raised her hands in exasperation, “Then I don't understand what the problem is - ” Steve, whose head was now hanging in his hands let out a muffled sentence.

 

“I’m sorry I didn’t quite catch that -”

 

“I can't find any regular underwear that fit cause…  _ cause I’m too big _ .”

 

“What do you mean you’re too - oh,  _ oh _ .”

 

Pepper couldn’t contain her blush, “Well, ok… That clears things up. Uh, so do you want me to help you find underwear that has some extra -” she quickly makes a vague gesture with her hands “room for…. You know.” 

 

Steve smiled in relief, thankful this conversation was over. “Yes, yes that’d be great. Thank you Pepper. Really, thank you.”

 

***

“Hey, Steve!” Pepper called as she entered his apartment, “I have the stuff you asked for! I think they should work, if not you should probably talk to someone abou — oh. Oops.”

 

Pepper was halfway through her sentence when she noticed Steve was not alone. And here she was, standing in the middle of the apartment with large and suspicious looking box.

 

There in front of her sat a bright red Steve and a startled looking Natasha and Tony.

 

“Talk to someone about what, Pepper?” Tony asked, with an eyebrow raised. Pepper smiled sweetly at her boyfriend, “Nothing, Tony. You know I don’t like to tell you anything.”

 

Natasha was observing the entire exchange with narrowed eyes, watching closely as Steve got up from his couch to make his way towards Pepper. Steve held his hand out to her, his flushed face bowed in embarrassment, “Thanks, Pepper…” he mumbled as she gave him the box.

 

“No problem, let me know if you need anything else.” She said quietly. And all he gave was a quick nod before shuffling back to his bedroom.

 

Tony opened his mouth to ask what the hell just happened before Pepper shut him down with a raised finger and a disappointed glare. “Don’t you dare harass him for details, he isn’t obliged to tell you all everything.”

 

***   
“I think Cap has an STD.” Tony announced during an avengers family card game.

 

Clint’s eyes were wide with surprise, “You  _ what?” _

 

Tony looked his teammate dead in the eyes and said, “I think our fearless leader has a sexually transmitted disease. Don’t know who, what, when, where, why, or how. But I am  _ pretty _ sure Caps got the clap.”

 

Natasha rolled her eyes at Tony, “He does  _ not _ have an STD.”

 

Bruce and Clint both had mildly interested faces on, “Why would you think that.”

 

And of course Thor spoke up from behind his upside-down pair of playing cards asking, “Mind I ask you what exactly is ‘the clap’?” Which prompted Tony into explaining his reasoning and giving evidence. 

 

Ten minutes later Natasha said, “I bet you ten dollars Rogers does not have an STD”

 

***

But of course, shit went down. More specifically SHIELD went down, as well as HYDRA, and Steve off a helicarrier… So, Tony didn’t get the chance to find out if Captain America had an STD or not.

 

Really, everything was a shit storm after SHIELD fell. So it was months before anyone got to find out the truth.

 

***

Natasha, Tony, Clint, and newest member of the team, Sam, entered Steve and now Bucky’s apartment. 

 

But they were stopped in their tracks by the sight of clothing streamed carelessly around the living room.

 

“ _ Okay… _ Does anyone want to tell me why ‘ _ Wideman—MAX’  _ underwear is on the floor of Captain America’s apartment?” Tony said, wearily.

 

“Oh, those are Steve’s.” Came a deep voice from behind them, “Sorry about the mess… We got a little distracted.” The team turns around to find Bucky, clad in what is clearly Steve’s t-shirt and plaid boxers — his neck covered in hickeys.

 

Bucky crossed his arms and laughed the tiniest bit, “Steve tells me it took him months to find a pair that actually fit…” 

 

“Well, it would have been easier to find some that fit if I weren’t so worried about my team thinking I had an sexually transmitted disease.” Steve spoke up from behind him.

 

“Shit, you knew about that?” Clint groaned.

 

“Course I did…” Steve smirked while wrapping a gentle arm around Bucky.

 

Natasha took a step forward, a smile threatening to break out on her face, “So, you’re telling me… You don’t have an STD? And all those times you had to stop during a conversation to readjust your pants, was just because your underwear didn’t fit? 

 

Steve flushed the tiniest bit while Bucky dramatically leaned into his boyfriend’s chest and sighed wistfully, “Ah… The struggles of owning The Super-Dick of Freedom.”

 

“I’m sorry  _ what?” _ Sam asked.

 

“No, don’t. Don’t encourage him!” Steve groaned. 

 

Bucky gasped dramatically, “You’ve never heard of my Stevie’s Super-Dick of Freedom! You cannot be serious!”

 

Bucky leered at all the other avengers in the room saying, “Oh let me tell you  _ all _ about it. The Super-Dick of Freedom belongs to, and only to, the most patriotic man. And, in all of its glory, a real ‘Super-Dick’. So big, hits all the right spots. So thick too, oh my god...” Bucky moaned a little bit at the thought, Steve flushed bright red and Tony knocked his head against a wall.

 

“Please stop. Please stop talking.” Clint said, with his hands over his ears. 

 

“I’ve officially heard it all. There is nothing more in this world that can surprise me as much as this.” Sam groaned just a little.

 

Bucky laughed, “ _ Anyway _ , you will never not find me laughing at the fact that Steve went through an entire war and another year of avenging before finding a pair of underwear that actually fit.” Bucky turned to Steve. “You’re kind of a moron, you know that?”

 

Steve smiled and pulled Bucky closer to his chest, “And you’re kind of way too comfortable with talking about my dick.” 

 

“You’re both kinda gross and responsible for me being down ten dollars.” Tony said as a smug Natasha shoved a ten dollar bill into her pocket.

 

“Tony, you truly haven’t seen gross yet…” Steve leered before attaching his mouth to Bucky’s already bruised neck and his hands to his ass.

 

“Are they doing it again? They’re doing it again aren’t they.” Clint’s muffled voice spoke up from his position of being face down on the couch. 

 

“Not yet we’re not. But give it a few minutes…” Bucky breathed, his head falling back onto Steve’s shoulder.

 

“Okay, out! Everyone out! This is going to get real graphic real fast, and I think we’ve all seen enough traumatizing things in our lives.” Sam said while pushing both Clint and Tony out of the apartment.

 

“Use protection boys!” Natasha called over her shoulder.

 

“Don't worry, we won’t!” Bucky yelled back. The resounding groans of contempt echoed throughout the hallway. 

 

Inside the apartment Bucky dropped to his knees in front of Steve, “Okay sweetheart,” He said, unbuckling his boyfriend’s jeans. “Put that Super-Dick to good use.”

  
And judging by the hoarseness of Bucky’s voice and the slight limp he walks with for the rest of the day… Steve sure as hell did.


End file.
